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Well, Freedman, it has come to my attention that you've been rather lax in responding to comments. What do you have to say for yourself? And stop fidgeting, boy!
Er, it wasn't my fault, Sir.
It "wasn't my fault, Sir"? Then whose fault was it? The little green men from Mars?
No, Sir. It was the program, Sir.
Program? What program? Do try and make some sense, lad. You sound like a gibbering idiot.
I thought it was set to send me an email when someone commented, Sir.
In other words, you hadn't set it properly.
No, Sir. I mean, yes, Sir. I mean, I did, but it undid itself.
Undid itself, boy? Have you taken leave of your senses? Don't answer that, Freedman. Have you corrected it now?
Yes.
Yes, what?
Yes, Sir, Sir.
Good. And when might you be responding to the aforementioned comments? Some time in the next decade one hopes?
Today, Sir.
Good. And when you've done it, I want you to show me proof. Bring me the internet first thing in the morning.
Er, but...
No, on second thoughts, print it out, and leave it for me at the staffroom.
But, but, Sir, erm --
Are you quite alright, boy? Do get a grip. Now, to help you remember such basic etiquette in future, take 500 lines.
Take them where, Sir?
Are you trying to be impudent, boy? Make that 1,000 lines. At the staffroom tomorrow morning, 8:30 sharp. "I will monitor comments on my website every day, and respond in a timely manner."
Yes, Sir.
And Freedman?
Yes, Sir?
No copying and pasting.